Becky’s Blog: Happy, Beautiful & Confident 2019

When I first heard the news that we had a protestor, I was filled with anguish and fear. What does this mean for our business?

About 5 days before Christmas a woman protester was spotted on St Albert Trail underneath our billboard protesting our business with signs that read  “ You Don’t Need This”. I had to think about what we had had on the billboard. It was a picture of a beautiful 40 something woman with the words “Confidence & Empowerment”. Hmmm, how did we possible offend this woman with encouraging women to have confidence. Are we that edgy that we’ve created negative fan clubs?  I’ve spent the last week, really searching this topic and examining my own beliefs..

Interestingly, our management team had just agreed to portray positive images and messages on our billboards this year encouraging self respect,  self love, and acceptance. That’s our marketing message for 2019.

Yes, that is ironic considering most of our services create the possibilities to slightly alter what you see in the mirror. Would I love a world where all women could just be who they are as they were born? Absolutely. In this regard I support the sentiments from our protestor. You don’t need our services to have Empowerment & Confidence. You really don’t, or do you?

How many of us feel confident to go about our days with zero enhancements. I’m talking no lipstick, no mascara, no flat irons, no hair spray, no deodorant, no toothpaste, no razors, no tweezers.

“Could you put your naked body out for the world to see? Or would you be just slightly concerned about the shape of your thighs, the bit of cellulite, the tummy bulge and saggy boobs that are the result of 3 beautiful kids?”

I would love to know what this woman was really protesting. Could it possibly be that she was protesting the extreme?

Perhaps she was speaking to the women who cannot see their beauty and set out on a devastating journey that destroys their natural beauty. Unfortunately this does exist.

The aesthetic industry seems to attract a small percentage of women who want enhancements performed beyond natural proportions. While some gals can get away with it because they naturally have big dramatic eyes, hair , and lips, the majority of us need to follow the Golden Ratios of beauty.

Natural beauty is what 99.9% of our clients want. They just want to look less tired, a little more refreshed, a little smoother, a little more youthful. Nothing crazy. A little dusting of Botox or Dysport. A syringe or two of Restylane or Juvederm. And what they really desire is for their treatments to go unnoticed by their friends, colleagues, and family. They want to look more refreshed but they don’t want anyone to know.

So, I eagerly argue with people who protest these types of treatments because this is not what you see. These clients are not scattered in tabloid magazines with their pictures of botched lips or disfigured faces. They do not stand out in a crowd because their enhancements are so subtle that they are undetectable. This is not what people protest about because you have no idea that they’ve had anything done at all. How can you protest what you don’t know? And how is it your business anyways?

Now, this is where I get a little defensive because who has the right to tell another person what they can or cannot do. A parent does, that’s about it.

“Who has the right to decide for another human being what personal attributes evoke feelings of confidence or insecurity? How can someone else decide for me if the shape of my nose or the size of my butt makes me feel less beautiful?”

I have a plaque on my bathroom wall with this first paragraph of the Serenity Prayer and it reminds me to keep things real for both myself and my clients:

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

The prayer was intended more to address ways of life and having faith to help deal with hardship etc. I’m pretty sure the author was not thinking about whether or not a woman should have plastic surgery! However, it does apply. And this is when I remind myself that although i would love to be more petite, have smaller feet, and a smaller nose…I don’t! That’s the way I was made and I’ve spent my entire life dealing with these insecurities.

I cannot change certain things and I do have choice to change others.

  • I choose to eat mostly Plant Based  ( except over the holidays…ate pounds of cheese!) and workout almost every day for at least an hour to help maintain a healthy body weight.
  • I choose to do skin treatments that help control my acne while also balancing my newly acquired allergy to preservatives.
  • I choose to wear a bit of makeup because I feel prettier.
  • I choose to have a bit of Botox or Dysport around my eyes to slow the aging of the skin there, plus it makes my eyes look more open and vibrant.
  • I choose to have a bit of filler ( Restylane/Juvederm) in my cheeks and lower face because as I’m aging the fat pads in my face are diminishing.
  • I choose to do Coolsculpting to carve off a bit of fat on my tummy and thighs.
  • I choose to take my BioIdentical Hormones to help replace what my body no longer makes. I choose wax and laser my bikini because it makes me feel sexier.
  • I choose to wear certain clothes that I feel slimmer in.
  • I choose have shellac on my toes because with size 10 feet, it makes me feel more feminine.

becky wilkins external affairs

“Is there anything wrong with wanting to feel more feminine or sexier or prettier?”

The truth is, it’s a survival mechanism. My blog on the Survival of Beauty goes into detail on this topic. We are designed to want to be more attractive.

Since the beginning of time, the most attractive was also considered the healthiest. The healthiest were able to procreate and ensure the survival of our species.

This is true in the animal kingdom as well. So, it is inherently built into our DNA to want to be attractive. And what makes one individual feel attractive may be very different from another.  

I do often think about our clients who have struggles far beyond my silly complaints. Many times, their visits to our clinic have nothing to do with vanity. Take these poor gals who have been cursed with too much testosterone and have to deal with dark stubble on their faces. Should they listen to someone who tells them they don’t need to alter themselves!? Or what about our clients struggling with horrible acne. Should they just accept themselves as they are? Or should they seek out solutions which may include dietary changes, medications, and skin treatments both in the clinic and at home?

We also have our menopausal women who have been struggling with lack of sleep, should we help them? What about our male clients facing erectile dysfunction? We have a solution! Should we tell them to accept their deteriorating sexual health? Or the young girl affected by alopecia who has no eyebrows. Wouldn’t permanent makeup be a life changing solution for her?

I say heck yah! Do what you need to do so that you feel confident, attractive, youthful or sexy or whatever verb you use to describe that feeling that you get when you can walk into a room and shine. At work, at home, at school, or in social settings. We’re here for you! We thrive on helping people capture this confidence. We will not be swayed by naysayers!

I do respect the desire for people to accept and love themselves and it is our greatest goal to help people achieve very natural non detectable results. Going into the new year we will be exploring these topics in blogs and on Facebook , Instagram, & You Tube. What is authentic beauty and what it means to you. What are your challenges and how can we help?

I’m excited about 2019 as I push my own boundaries. I’m excited to help our clients achieve their own personal greatness. We all wish you a very happy, confident, and beautiful 2019.


Related Articles

The Priapus Shot – Enhance Your Sexual Function

With over 100 million men worldwide suffering from erectile dysfunction and other symptoms of sexual incontinence, a  number that is expected to DOUBLE by the year 2025, many have probably been wondering if there is any alternative of having to take that little blue pill every time they wish to achieve an erection. Eventually, medications like Viagra® and Cialis® will stop working,…

Exfoliation: It’s Apeeling!

Exfoliation offers a wealth of benefits making your skin look youthful and fresh, glowing and smooth, even and bright. If done correctly, nothing needs to be concealed under layers of makeup. Our skin’s memory reaches back about 20 years. It remembers the sun shining bright in your eyes, summers spent avoiding sunscreen (and resulting in getting burned and dried out)….

Our February Self Love Challenge

February is all about love, and we’re focusing on self-love at External Affairs this month! We’re excited to launch our Self Love Challenge and we can’t wait to see how you bring it into your daily life. We have created a printable pdf file with your daily self love challenge that you can find here:, or check out our Instagram…


We’d love to hear from you!